Processing change

It’s the end of the financial year. Soon I’ll have to hunt through all my paperwork for the past 12 months to get my tax return into order. Hopefully I won’t forget anything – like my mortgage.

It’s also a stressful time working for a Not for Profit organisation. Waiting to see whether one has security in their job for the next financial year has been one of the most stressful life things I’ve had to manage recently. I’ve been given more hours though, and I’m super excited to undertake more tasks.

However, this means some colleagues will be leaving the organisation next week. It means I have to deal with change.

Now, as an autistic person, change is something I’ve never been great at. I was really bad at dealing with it when I was a kid, less so as an adult, but the whole social interaction bit makes things really hard for me.

I’m avoiding the office this week. Partly because there’s no -work- reason to travel to Melbourne, and partly because it means I don’t have to figure out face to face goodbyes. I’ll email the colleagues who are leaving though. I’ll say what I want to say, in my own space and time, and I’ll apologise for not being there to farewell them.

It (having to manage change) doesn’t stop after next week though. I need to remember that these people aren’t going to be on the office anymore. It’ll probably take a bit of time for me to process that – I expect for the first few weeks I’ll go in and say “Peter* isn’t here today?”, when Peter* has left. Or I’ll think of something and email it to them, forgetting they no longer have access to an office email account.

That’s okay though. I’ll figure it all out eventually. Like I figured out the recent desk changes. The staff who were upstairs who have moved downstairs. The window/wall that disappeared, leaving a new open office desk space.

Change always happens. And I, for the most part, will always adapt to it. Even if it takes me a little longer than some people.

*Name has been changed